Sunday, March 8, 2009

Are our priorities straight?

As I lay in bed this Sunday afternoon trying to dose off after spending most of my Spring break doing school work, the subject underway on CNN caught my attention. Rihanna and Chris Brown. I believe by now it must be common knowledge that he brutally beat her after she found text messages from a former lover on his cell phone.

It got me thinking. Since I have begun this blog I have reached out to friends, family, and school mates with different view points and opinions to help get my blog started. In doing so a few individuals became very upset. Being who I am, I didn't quite understand the strong emotion and why it was coming out.

Back to Rihanna and Chris brown. Since the breaking news I have received numerous emails with Rihanna's battered face.YouTube videos, and text message cartoons of Chris punching Rihanna to the ground. Many of the emails have little quotes or jokes attached to them. What I haven't received is outrage. What I haven't seen is strong emotion. What I have received and seen is humor.

How can the brutal beating of a young, beautiful, and talented girl be humorous but the subject of polyamory cause outrage? If having a conversation I am sure we will all say domestic violence outrages me. If having a conversation some of us will agree with polyamory and some will not.

I am curious as to how bringing up the mere subject of polyamory can cause such a reaction compared to the reaction I have seen toward the despicable beating of Rihanna.

Most of the literature I have read on polyamory speaks of how monogamy cultivates fear and jealousy. Fear and jealousy are two characteristics that are shunned in the polyamory community. I believe these characteristics cause people to act in hateful ways. I have to agree with polyamory on this subject.


  1. I have strong feelings. But it is about the fact that people tend to judge forgetting we all make mistakes and that if we admit them and seek help we should be forgiven. It is distasteful to spread the private image of someone in pain and then try to profit or laugh at that image. Most people are guilty of abusing someone but physical always gets more attention. I don't believe showing compassion is condoning wrongdoing, but showing hostility and no empathy is a crime in itself and leads to more victimization.

  2. My theory is that the very idea of polyamory frightens a lot of people. I've had much less alarmed reactions when coming out as bi to straight people. I imagine they've had a chance to become comfortable about and understand homosexuality, and more importantly, they don't see homosexuality as a rules change in their own world. As to polyamory this is precisely what they see, and it is scary to think that their own partner could take to the idea of polyamory, something they never before imagined as a legitimate relationship option. Monogamy is designed to spare people such uncomfortable possibilities.

  3. Anita, I believe you may be right. But statistics show that people are cheating on each other like crazy. I guess being deceptive to each other is preferable to being open and honest, which is what polyamory suggest we should do. While I am not in a polyamorous relationship I do agree with many of their philosophies. The more I read about polyamory and the more I see from the righteous who claim monogamy is the only decent way. The more I am disgusted by the hypocracy of the mainstream view. One who does not practice or believe that others should practice polyamory has the right to have that view. But it disgust me when religion or (God) is used to defend their position when we all know if the oppositions life was an open book polyamory relationships would be the least of worries.