Big Love

I watched the HBO show Big Love over the weekend. The show is about a man and his three wives and seven children. I expected the show to be focused on a polygamist compound, with obedient women, and Little House on the Prairie clothing. I thought the show would try to prove to America that polygamy is not as bad as we all think it is and that the people are wholesome God fearing people who just want to live their lives in peace.

Well, I got exactly the opposite of what I was expecting. I did get the polygamist compound but the show was definitely not focused on the compound or trying to show viewers what life was like living on one. I did see some clothing that might be considered a bit old fashioned but the women wearing them would definitely not be considered wholesome. There were villains, God fearing people, rebellious teens, conniving lovers, loving lovers, hateful family members, fearful family members,and the list goes on.

The show did a great job of portraying the polygamist family and their neighbors and associates as everyday people who just have a different view than most of what marriage consist of.

For Clarification

This is strictly for clarification. Some may not actually know exactly what polyamory is. I even assumed any relationship that wasn't monogamous was considered swinging. So here goes.

Polyamory(from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [literally “love”]) is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved --wikipedia

Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple--wikipedia

The term polygamy (a Greek word meaning "the practice of multiple marriage") is used in related ways in social anthropology, sociobiology, and sociology. Polygamy can be defined as any "form of marriage in which a person [has] more than one spouse."--wikipedia

Are our priorities straight?

As I lay in bed this Sunday afternoon trying to dose off after spending most of my Spring break doing school work, the subject underway on CNN caught my attention. Rihanna and Chris Brown. I believe by now it must be common knowledge that he brutally beat her after she found text messages from a former lover on his cell phone.

It got me thinking. Since I have begun this blog I have reached out to friends, family, and school mates with different view points and opinions to help get my blog started. In doing so a few individuals became very upset. Being who I am, I didn't quite understand the strong emotion and why it was coming out.

Back to Rihanna and Chris brown. Since the breaking news I have received numerous emails with Rihanna's battered face.YouTube videos, and text message cartoons of Chris punching Rihanna to the ground. Many of the emails have little quotes or jokes attached to them. What I haven't received is outrage. What I haven't seen is strong emotion. What I have received and seen is humor.

How can the brutal beating of a young, beautiful, and talented girl be humorous but the subject of polyamory cause outrage? If having a conversation I am sure we will all say domestic violence outrages me. If having a conversation some of us will agree with polyamory and some will not.

I am curious as to how bringing up the mere subject of polyamory can cause such a reaction compared to the reaction I have seen toward the despicable beating of Rihanna.

Most of the literature I have read on polyamory speaks of how monogamy cultivates fear and jealousy. Fear and jealousy are two characteristics that are shunned in the polyamory community. I believe these characteristics cause people to act in hateful ways. I have to agree with polyamory on this subject.

SEXUAL LIBERATION

I read an article named "Definging Our Own Sexual Liberation". In the article polyamory is described as a life long journey. One of the authors, Ingrid Rivera, states non-monogamous relationships break the mentality of "I own you". She describes polamorous relationships as negotiated and ethical non-monogamy. Revolutionstar Experience, an organization she and her partner started, teaches the process of shedding the societal contraints that govern how we live.

Does being in a monogamous relationship really carry an I own you mentality?

Is there a such thing as ethical non-monogamy?

Societal Contraints vs. Societal norms. Since when does the norm have to have a negative connotation.